The wind blows silent.
A heart that has been ribboned.
I will miss you Rain.
- George Nelson Jr.
October 16, 2009
I wrote that after a few days of mulling over the news I heard on Wednesday that an online friend succumbed to Life and committed suicide. She was someone that I saw had a grasp of the written word but sadly those words she so adeptly used had lost meaning for her and without any word or sign to anyone, she took her own life.
I have written elsewhere about how I have gone through what has become a routine for me when having to deal with the suicide of someone I knew. for the most part, I have had to live through the suicides of people that I knew in my day to day life, people that I have tangibly been in a room with as opposed to people that I have only talked to on the internet.
Jayme was an online friend of mine and I am happy to say that I have many people on the internet that I take as my friends. It doesn’t matter to me anymore if they are online or off, if they are someone I take to and can talk to, they are my friend.
We need more people to be friends with everyone, easier said than done right? WRONG! It is easier to be a friend to someone rather than talking about being a friend to someone. No one is listening to you anyways when you are talking about being a friend rather than actually being a friend. M’eh. Her death has affected me and I am somewhat philosophical tonight. Perhaps an hour or so driving on the highway with my sons will clear my head. Actually my son and I are heading out pretty soon to pick up our oldest so he can come home for the weekend.
For those who read my blog and comment all of the time, thank you for your consideration and your time. For those who read, thank you as well.
I still don’t really know what to say about James (Jayme).
By: NIAC on October 16, 2009
at 8:00 pm
I forgot to use the reply link so you will find your lengthy reply at the end or further down NIAC.
By: E_Dragon on October 17, 2009
at 2:10 pm
Mona and I have both been stunned by the loss of Jayme.
I have actually been worried about both you (points to the northwest), George, and you (points to the northeast), Mike. I think because I knew both of you communicated more with her (at least at one time or another). It comforted me some to see words from both of you, even if you don’t know what to say.
Take care guys (and anybody else who shows up here). These virtual friendships are important to me too.
By: JulieMac on October 16, 2009
at 9:31 pm
=) I forgot about this reply to comment feature but I will use it since I want Jules to know that this is a reply to her wonderful comment.
Virtual friendships. I love that. I really do appreciate your comment Jules. Rest assured I am taking care. Your comment of ‘virtual friendship’ has me rethinking the term “virtual” since it now has some tangibility. How so? Well we use a keyboard to interface with the internet and visit those virtual environments, those virtual people that become our friends. It is the keyboard that makes it tangible for me. So while we may or may never meet, you are a tangible friend Jules and I do love that you are my friend. Please give Mona my regards.
Prior to the internet, virtual meant something intangible. Post Internet I don’t think it means that anymore.
By: E_Dragon on October 17, 2009
at 12:05 pm
Yeah, virtual for me is primarily used to point out where my friendship came from. I used to point out softball friends, work friends, hometown friends and now you all are my virtual friends since we met via the computer.
By: JulieMac on October 17, 2009
at 12:33 pm
That makes perfect sense Jules, in fact it makes Super Geek Sense. =) I just had to wonder what a virtual friend was prior to the internet. Certainly it didn’t mean an actual person like it does now.
By: E_Dragon on October 17, 2009
at 2:08 pm
Oh my God. I had no idea.
Rest well, Jayme. I’m sorry you didn’t see another way.
By: Fupas on October 16, 2009
at 9:36 pm
Yeah I guess it was on Tuesday Fu and I hope she finds her peace.
By: E_Dragon on October 17, 2009
at 12:06 pm
I agree with Julie, I have been worried about how my two Old Canadian Guys are handling this. You both know how to reach John and I if you need to talk. I don’t know that I am the best person for this subject, but I love you both and am always there if either of you need. You two have always been there for me and I thank you for that.
Be well George and Mike
By: jane on October 17, 2009
at 8:26 am
Thank you Jane. You have great perspective so you might be a good person to talk to about such a thing. I do know that if I ever felt so despondent as to consider such a thing, I already know that you would talk me right out of it so there is no need to go down that path anymore. =)
Been there, no need to go back. Ever.
By: E_Dragon on October 17, 2009
at 12:12 pm
your damn right I would George!
By: jane on October 17, 2009
at 4:03 pm
S’okay Mike. I have an inkling (Shinning? LOL Simpsons Halloween show last night) well I have a feeling that you and I probably feel the same way about the subject of suicide. It angers me now and I guess that is why I didn’t want to say anything or write about it right away, you know out of respect for those who are hurting.
Sometimes the inevitability of Life points toward dark hallways and overgrown scary paths and no matter how many times you try to steer someone from that path, they chose and sadly, may continue to choose to walk it.
I don’t know if that is how you feel but I feel that. I have talked about having to live through four people’s suicides, people that I have talked to and have taken as my friends. Three of those suicides were by people that I knew were thinking about it, you can hear it in their voices even when they were saying, “Yes, thank you for being there for me…”.
One was a surprise but in hindsight, really wasn’t that much of a surprise. Alcohol and anger were both factors and yeah, may he rest in peace as well.
One of those suicides was my good friend M who was also my sister in law’s old man and father of our niece. They were a great couple and I miss them dearly. He was the one who was despondent and stressed beyond the breaking point. His biological mother’s DNA was one of those found at a rather famous farm that I won’t go into. Needless to say, that bit of information pushed him further over his edge and in his despondency he sat one morning with a rifle in his hands, balancing his life I guess.
The story goes on to include horrific tragedy for my wife’s family so out of respect for them, I will just say she died doing what she did, helping him. He took his own life seconds after she was gone. R.I.P. my dear sister and brother. I love you guys and miss you dearly.
So Mike, I know your life is full right now and I will endeavor to provide a blog that can provide a place for you to come and unwind from your week at school. I know my last week of work pretty much sucked as far as productivity goes but as far as fucking the dog goes, it was one hell of a week. LOL 2 days of no electricity will do that though. We are pretty much done painting as the painting season has passed us.
It is cold, it rained all last week and while we have had sun these past few days, it is fricken cold.
By: E_Dragon on October 17, 2009
at 11:56 am
Well written friend. Not virtual friend, just friend.
By: seth on October 19, 2009
at 5:36 am