It has become a standard status message that is meant to show others that you are signed in but not necessarily ‘online’.  I guess even something as simple as being online can be divided up into categories when you apply “real world” usage to it.

Real world usage:  In essence this is simply human usage, practicality, what really happens when you release a new online game, things that you can try to plan for but can never be fully ready for.

What I am trying to get at is the status message of “user is away…” was meant as a consideration, a form of online etiquette to better the online communications of people.  Well that was on paper so to speak and I don’t think it’s like that, at all.

I say this because there are days when I don’t want to talk to anyone online so I set my status to away.  I just wanted you to know that there are some days that I am not in a mood to discuss anything with anyone so I guess it is actually doing something to better online communications.

However, given our digital distribution era where you can download and update your games via the internet, it does help to be able to set your status as away so that when you are downloading, it doesn’t look like you are trying to ignore or avoid anyone.

Still, it could be that your day to day life has taken over and your online time has been limited.  For instance, starting Monday I will be away from the computer a lot more since I accepted a job.  I needed to do something and regardless of the job, I am going to go to work.  =)  Feeling good about that.

It is weird but early this morning at approximately 1:30 AM this morning (July the 9th) I made the decision that once and for all, I am done with my smoking.  I took ownership of my habit and I finally said to myself and my brother who is a year younger than I am, that I am done.  I told him I have always told myself and made the decision alone that I wanted to quit but this time I think this will be it.  I have a witness and I not only want to quit, I am going to.  I have decided that whenever I have a craving and I know I will over this weekend but I whenever i want a cigarette, I will simply drink some water.

If that means that I have to go home to get a glass of water, then that is what I will do.

I guess I made the right choice because the job offer came in this morning.  =)  So as of this Monday I will be working 9 to 5 and I hope near 40 year old body will be able to handle adjustment to the “normal sleeping pattern” routine.

I am hoping that we can find some funds for this weekend, my last free one for a little while.  I would love to take the boys in to town so that we can watch the second Transformers movie in the theater but as I told my oldest son, if we have to wait for the DVD/BRD release then that is what we will do.

At some point this week I will reach an online milestone that at the writing of this blog, I just don’t know how to feel about it.  Obviously I am thankful for the people that I have met in these past four years, that is a given.

I have seen what has become a basis of sorts for this particular blog.  Virtual Sociology, Gaming, Parenting and of course being an Astard.  =)

The people I have met are invaluable to me even when some (okay one that has) become a source of stress for me.  I refer to one so “Old” that he “Farts Dust”, I am still saddened by this guys approach to friendships but I do not judge him.  He has his life and if he wants to burn bridges, well some people are just bridge burners.  They are an island and maybe they are happier that way.  There I am done with Brewster.

But why would I be up in the air about how I feel about reaching the four year milestone in Sony’s Gamer Advisory Panel?  Trust me it is not about the Playstation Brand or anything like that.

Simply put, it is the amount of time that I have been online.  In those four years, the GAP was almost a daily thing for me.  These days my online time is divided up between the GAP, Facebook, this place and the occasional google search for someone as hot as Brandy Ledford.  I have been watching Andromeda lately and man is Doyle ever a hot avatar.  But I digress.  I guess I can afford to digress while I am online can’t I?

I guess this is another one of those introspective blogs since I haven’t written anything in here for a little while now.  I do see that SinisterDragon is here on WordPress now too so welcome to this portion of the internet Matty.  =)

There have been many birthdays lately, one of them being my son’s 14th birthday and holy crap he is 14 years old!!  He and my brother had their birthday on June the 28th.  My brother turned 36 and my son 14.  They have been celebrating their birthdays together for the past 13 years and this year was no different.  We had a great birthday dinner for the both of them.

My 11 year old will turn 12 in December and our youngest will be a whole year old in September.

September.

I will be 40 in September.  =)  I am looking forward to turning 40 actually but what I am not looking forward to is just how much of my life has been spent online.  I recall with some fondness having to use dial up with the start up CD and everything.  Windows 95.  Remember when the world was much simpler?  Heck I even remember Windows 3.0 and if there was ever an analogy for technological growth it is windows 3.0 to Windows 95.  Everything after W95 is just money and ensuring that you keep making money and look at that, I summed up Micro$oft in two sentences.  =)

There have been many things that I have had the urge to write about but I just can’t bring myself to do the Microsoft (godammit YES!! YES I WANT TO SEND) dance that is me in a post-Mac world.  I should find one of those voice activated recorders to put down these thoughts that I have for a blog.

Like for instance my aversion to those commercial that proudly proclaim, “Now available in Candian Dollars!!”  Fucking idiots.  LOL  There I wrote that blog and included it in this one.  =)

I was also thinking of doing a blog with just a simple thought, as in thought evolving.  For instance:

The next time you are flying and you see a city or some sort of settlement on the ground, put yourself in the shoes of one of those people that are looking yup and pointing at your plane.

It would be interesting if anyone posted a reply to a blog like that.

Okay I actually have something to write about.  Have you seen Tosh.O?  A new show that I am guessing in on Comedy Central but I watch here on the Comedy Network.  It is on after the John Dore Television show and yes I saw Brandy in a cameo on that show.  I like these two shows and have something to watch on Wednesdays.  I guess I am going through another one of those gaming doldrums where I just don’t want to play anything.

Well I wrote something so I will now go through my blogroll to see what is going on with my online friends.

Laters.

It has been a little while and I have a good reason for not posting as much lately.  I do not like the IBM computer at all.  It sucks balls that have been dipped in ass.  LOL

Regardless, I felt like writing and honestly I am not sure what I want to write about.  I guess I can mention the news that everyone has been talking about all day.  Farrah Fawcett and Micheal Jackson passing on.  May they rest in peace and I hope that their passings are not sensationalized.

I guess that is a good enough topic to talk about.  Sensationalism.  It has happened in the past where a very public person’s death has been sensationalized and it becomes ‘news’.  The family is hounded for soundbytes and really they should be allowed to mourn in peace.

Having said that, if the family chooses to make money off of this well they will be left to their own devices and they suck if they want to make money and get publicity of of tragedy.  Idiots.  I am glad that I don’t have to listen to anymore crap surrounding the late Anna Nicole.

Death is one of those things that tend to bring people together and sadly when it comes to Hollywood and “Stars”, it also means that people will come out in droves to be a part of the scene.  I guess when it comes to Hollywood, the scene is one of things that everyone must be a part of.

I hope the families of the departed ones are able to mourn and that these deaths are not sensationalized.

Now this is from a purely light hearted viewpoint and is not intended to be of any scientific significance unless someone reads this and then decides they will tackle the idea for their Doctoral Thesis or something in which case I will be expecting royalties, credit etc.  Thank you.

I was sitting around with my brother working on Final Fantasy 12 the other night and I have to say that Square Enix did a really good job with this game.  Now I will say before I continue that I am not a big Final Fantasy player and have pretty much only the time I have spent with FFXII as previous experience but I do know that the series has gone through many changes and it is not as linear as I thought it was.

I guess my interest in starting to peak for Final Fantasy XIV but if it is a MMO game, probably not.  Regardless, I am straying from my blog topic into the vast realms of the Final Fantasy Universe and I guess the Square Enix Universe since I did actually play Dragon quest VIII – Journey of the Cursed King and I loved that game.  I may actually start playing it again just because, and on the PS3 to boot.  =)

So as I recall from playing Dragon Quest VIII, there was a lot to do and I mean a lot.  From a pure save your sanity viewpoint, you do have to save your game a lot.  A lot.  It is something that my brother and I joked about, “Wait, go back, you only saved it nine times, you have to save it one more time.”  =)

We were exaggerating of course but that didn’t stop him from saving his game twice at every save sigul.  I also noticed that when he was looking at his Status menu (FFXII) and the Licenses that he wanted to make sure he had an entire section opened before he moved on to another one.

This last tidbit drove me a little mad as I wanted him to buy the licenses for the Ether and Potion upgrades so that he can progress the game rather than stay in a section and comb the entire area before moving on.  LOL  I am the same way when it comes to a new game or a any RPG for that matter.  I haven’t played too many of them but I may play more of them now.  I might actually go ahead and see how far the FFXII playable demo will take me.

I might just wait until FFXIV comes out though too.

It made me wonder though when it comes to gamers just how much of our personalities are prone to obsessive compulsive behaviors?  It makes me wonder if you could treat OCD with a video game?

From my own experiences I think I can safely say that there are some compulsions when it comes to my gaming.  How many of you gamers have thought at the end of a level, “Just one more, it shouldn’t take long.”  Yeah it will take long, go to bed already.  I will spend hours trying to take an online road time just to see my name listed as owning that road (Burnout Paradise) but I am happy to say that as far as my OCD goes, I am doing pretty good.  Maybe we need to look at another acronym rather than the OBSESSIVE Compulsive Disorder, not do away with the OCD mind you but add another one.  One where the compulsion is recognized but it is not obsessive and you can function normally in Society.  I say that because OCD cases tend to stand out in a crowd.

Well, my sons came in and interrupted my train of thought so I am posting this now.  I think I got what I wanted down.

You know who the real drains on Society are?

Go-getters.

Those driven people who blaze trails and leave carbon footprints all over the place as they strive to be the first one to the top of the mountain.  With their early adoption of certain electronics that are currently filling up landfills and their incessant need to get there fast and first, they may not realize how much emissions they are personally responsible for.

I was a go getter once.  I went and got what I needed and found myself atop the mountain only to find that the mountain was not a nice place to be.  It was lonely and cold and people tend to want to push you off when you are up there.  I was pushed from the top but I survived the fall.

I am content with being at base camp, I have been to the top and can now let the mountain weed out the materialistic from the gene pool.  For now at least.  I will want to get back to the top but at least I know now what I didn’t know then.  I guess there are a lot of good things that come with getting old.  Hopefully NIAC and The Mac will remember what they are. 

Yeah, I’m in a weird mood today.  LOL  I have decided that I will now just write what ever comes to mind, no direction perhaps, just write.

Well I didn’t realize it until I signed into the dashboard that this would be my 125th post.  I haven’t been posting as much lately and for a very poor reason.  They took back the laptop that I have enjoyed for the past three years.  Might as well as have taken a friggin lung.

As such, I have had to get used to a friggin IBM computer once again.  I do not like Windows.  At all.  I miss the Mac but there is nothing to be done.  It is their computer and they let me use it for three years but I wish they would have just taken the damn thing back back in December rather than let me think I could keep it.  [expletive]

Oh well.  C’est la vie.

Not so exciting for a 125th post huh?  I guess I can jazz it up a bit and state that George the Third is well on his way to walking on his own.  He walks along the couch very fast and has taken a step or two toward the couch and just yesterday i was told that he stood up on his own.  =)

School is almost over for our oldest, he has exams this week.  Our younger son will no doubt be near finished next week.  Oh and get this, come September, George the Third will be attending afternoon Daycare so in a sense it is like he is starting school already.  Where the heck did all the time go???

Oh yeah, it is the final summer of my thirties.

Regardless, it seems that the summer time, this summer might be a pivotal one for me.  I am tired of not leaving my house and I want to get out and walk around.  I am just reminded of so many things that can bring me down though that it is almost easier just to stay in and go online.

Beautiful scenery here but no camera to share it and no camera reminds me of the over 300 that went up in smoke when the camera got ruined.  Stupid camera.  Still, the scenery is enough to make me forget the materialistic nature that is living in this day and age.

My brother and I were out on the porch the other evening and one of the air conditioning vents at the school (across the street) shut down and it got very quiet, I mean extremely quiet, pin drop quiet.  It was nice.  It was nice that my brother and I shared that moment on a nice evening.  We listened to the quiet and at the same time mentioned the creek behind the village, our one constant.

I guess it is that creek behind the village that I really wanted to write about.  I remember thinking that, “…this would be a good blog entry…” but it was one of those fleeting moment thoughts that I had to dig and uncover today.

I really should write more often but I just can’t get used to this friggin computer.  I miss the Mac.  I miss my camera and I feel terrible that materialistic things mean so much to me.

Perhaps it is time to go and take a walk to the creek and sit beside again.  I have done that pretty much every year but not the past year or two.  Hmm, I can bring my fishing rod too.  =)

So life is as it is for most of not all of you, it has its ups and downs and it is no different for me.  I do hope you are all doing well and if I have to apologize for not posting then I do apologize.  I posted something today.  =)

I mentioned being at a crossroad in an earlier post and I did make a decision.  I did not take the route that would have led me down a path of self loathing and despair.  I made my choice.

Jobs are not easy to come by here, at least not for me and my surname.  =)  Small town family politics is such a bitch sometimes but it is the reality that I live with each and every day.

Reality is like that though, you have things that you live with and then you have things that you live for.

I have been home all week with my son who will be 9 months old as of the 15th of June.  At the end of the month, our oldest will turn 14 years old.  14!!  My goodness, time did kinda get away from me there a second.  I guess that is what I have on my mind today.

I really haven’t felt like writing much this past week as I struggled with the aforementioned crossroad but now that I have made my decision, I think I can free up some cognitive energies to do what I would rather do and that is, write.

I guess this could be another course for me to take with this blog but I don’t want to tie myself down again so I will just write and post things under the categories I do have.  Perhaps I will make more categories like the one I have in mind today.  Getting old.  =)

Then again, seeing as I will only be 40 years old come September, I can’t say for certain that being 40 or NIAC or Jules’ age (they are older than I am kik), I can’t say for certain that being in my 40’s is old.  The old nugget of age being relative comes to mind once again and in the eyes of my grandmother, I am still a kid but in the eyes of my 11 year old,  I am old.

Regardless of where I am in my Life Cycle, I do not want to have my chronological age define who I am and by that I mean I do not want to adhere to any “societal norm” as to what a person of my age should be doing.  I guess by that I mean I do not see myself giving up my gaming habit any time soon.  I might have to get used to the day shift though.

It is weird having to get used to television again.  By that I mean not middle of the night tv and having to get used to morning television.  Luckily I have my almost 9 month old that I can share this time with and we have been watching Mickey Mouse, Rollie Pollie Ollie and Loonette The Clown (of The Big Comfy Couch).  He is on a sleeping schedule where he is up before or around 8 AM and is up for 3 hours before taking a nap.

Those half hour to an hour naps will give me a little time to go online or get in a few songs in Rockband 2.  He is taking his nap right now and will wake up when his brother and Mom get home for lunch and then stay up for another 3 hours.  He does not take another nap until after dinner and then it is only a power nap (takes after his Dad I guess) and before we know it, it is time to go to bed in the evening.

So while it might feel like I in a doldrum, I might have actually been cruising and it was so comfortable that it felt like I wasn’t moving at all but I am.  My son reminds me of that with every smile and OH YEAH!! the other day he put two syllables together for me, I was so proud and happy.  “Da-da”.  =D

I know that my wife is happy to be doing something that she enjoys.  The job she got called in for was a week is one she enjoys becasuse it gives her the opportunity to help out the Elders of our Community.  I am hoping she gets the job for a year since it is one of those jobs that are on a cyclical-give-everyone-a-chance-to-work seasonal local jobs.  We find out hopefully by Monday.  I already mentioned to her that if she doesn’t get it not to be bothered by it if a ‘family member’ is hired.  I get tired of that shit but it happens.

Well my son and wife are home for lunch so I am posting this now.  enjoy your Thursday WP Bloggers and hello to those who read this regularly, you guys rock like Jules.  Oh I nearly forget to mention this but Jr. stood up on his own for a solid two seconds befre he realized he wasn’t holding on to anything.  =)  He will be walking before we know it.

OMG are they going to be pissed that they have fallen for one of my tasty Headline Gotcha! blogs.  I used to do them all the time but have since stopped.

Actually I have been reading and catching up on other blogs in my blogroll and I have been learning about RSS Feeds, something I am sure all you WordPress savy people already know about but I never really delved too deep into RSS Feeds.

I may make use of this to keep track of all who have posted a blog but I am a creature of habit and of the night apparently so I might just continue to be lazy and marvel at how savy my young and old friends are.

Let’s see…

Not much has been going on for me other than my gaming and I don’t expect any comments on this since they know I will be waiting to see if they fell for it and WE ALL KNOW you fell for it, again. 

I think I might try some short story fiction but the idea of writing with my son clawing at my laptop and hammerong on the keyboard will distract me so I will just post this today and spend some time with him before he gets ready for a nap.

I haven’t written about my family in a little while.  The potential for this blog was getting a bit out of hand so I will go back to one of my favorite topics to write about.

My namesake.  =)  He walks along the couch and over the past few days has been getting braver and braver.  Yesterday he was standing there holding on to the couch with one hand and I am not sure if he even noticed it but he let go and was standing there on his own for about two seconds before he held on again.  =)

He is such a smiley baby.  I taught him “give me five” as well as how to turn himself around when he is on the couch so that he can climb off of the couch rather than fall off of it.  He bounces up and down at the knees when we tell him to dance and that big smile.  I wish my camera did get messed up but it did.  =(

I made the mistake of giving it to my son to take on a hike.  He took several great pictures but in the process, accidentally soaked our poor camera in his backpack.  Stupid leaky water bottle and even stupider warranty didn’t cover it and yeah, we are out the cost of a great camera.  *sigh*  Stupid materialistic things, why do they have such a grip on us?  I really loved that camera too and it looks like I will have to go back to using the PSEye and my PS3 (EyeCreate) to record movies and get snapshots of him and his growth.

I know I can easily ask my family if I can use their camera since I really only need the memory card.  Still, knowing that our camera is gone just sucks since we will miss out on those candid shots that you really need to have a camera around for.

He really has grown quite a bit.  Whether it is the crying for our dinner that he knows we are eating or laughing at one of our games (we all have our own ways to make him laugh), he brings me such joy and keeps me from sinking into a depression.  it is difficult on some days more than others but I know that each and every day, I have this little guy who will always have a smile for me and I know that no matter what is going on in our days, we are able to comfort and calm each other.

I stop his crying and settle him down when others can’t and he keeps me thankful for all that I have.

Still, I miss my fucking camera.  it is my fault for sending it with him, there is no getting around that.  He felt terrible and then i felt even worse for making him feel like it was his fault.  He really did take some great photos and if and when I am ever over it, I might post them.  Not today though, I have only seen them once to check if the card still worked because George’s 7-8 months are on that card.  Thankfully it is still there and I can at least keep and use the memory card.  I miss the camera though.  Stupid camera.  That is the only remorse I have, for my camera.

I am thankful for everything else, including your readership, thank you.

I didn’t do anything today.

The profundity of that statement is overwhelming.

It’s exhausting yet I am not tired.

Maybe I will get some sleep, maybe.  Stupid ruts.

The crossroads is getting to be a boring place.

Fragmented thoughts.

I need to defragment, or is that refragment?

This way or that?

I need to do something today.

Choose.